Sex Addiction Counseling
As certified NJ sex addiction counselors at Leadem Counseling & Consulting Services (LCCS), we offer help with sex addiction because we believe that the advent of cyber sexual opportunities on the internet has catapulted Sexual and Love Addictions into the role of the fastest growing threat to an individual’s physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. It matters little whether you are the addicted person or someone who cares about one. Accepting the need for Sexual Addiction Counseling may be the greatest contribution you make to your personal recovery and may increase the likelihood of having your romance survive the betrayal it has endured.
The devastating cost to the quality of human life has moved this addiction into public attention through the exposition of public figures, but the problem is not one that exclusively targets the wealthy or the famous. The costs associated with the disorder can found in struggling marriages, financial mismanagement, chaotic families, chronic alcoholism and drug abuse relapse, and criminal consequences, to name but a few.
Help with sex addiction is available and hope is within reach if the addict or his/her family is willing to expose the secrets.
The disorder, although not identified as such in the diagnostic manuals, is recognized by knowledgeable addictions treatment professionals as one of the primary obstacles to the maintenance of sustained sobriety in the recovery from Alcoholism and other forms of substance dependency. Old timers in the 12 -Step movement will remember the ominous warning of the more seasoned members of their group: “Beneath every skirt is a slip.” The adage will be dismissed as a sexist comment by those fail to see its intent. Its authors were talking to men, of course, because there were very few women in the recovery rooms 30 years ago, but the wisdom should not be ignored because it speaks to one gender or because it may sound corny. Many relapses will begin with the problems associated with the instability an individual is experiencing in their sexual life. Unfortunately, the issues surrounding sexual instability are rarely discussed with sponsors, let alone brought up as topics for discussion at 12 Step meetings.
Our NJ sex addiction counselors will show you out of the maze for we have learned the way ourselves. To speak to one of our therapists or to make an appointment, please click the “contact us” link on the top right hand corner of this page.
If you would like to read more, please select from the following options for more information regarding Sex Addiction and Love Addiction:
Sex Addiction Defined
The disease, although not identified as such in the Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), is recognized by knowledgeable addictions treatment professionals as one of the primary obstacles to the maintenance of sustained sobriety in the recovery from Alcoholism and other forms of substance dependency. Old timers in the 12 Step movement will remember the ominous warning of the more seasoned members of their group: Beneath every skirt is a slip. The adage will be dismissed as a sexist comment by those fail to see its intent. Its authors were talking to men, of course, because there were very few women in the recovery rooms 30 years ago, but the wisdom should not be ignored because it speaks to one gender or because it may sound “corny.” Many relapses will begin with the problems associated with the instability an individual is experiencing in their sexual life. Unfortunately the issues surrounding sexual instability are rarely discussed with sponsors, let alone brought up as discussion topics for meetings.
Sexual addiction is a pathological relationship with a mood-altering experience which becomes central to the addicted person’s life. In Out of the Shadows, Dr. Carnes explains the four-step cycle the sexual addict progresses through which intensifies with each repetition:
- Preoccupation with sex: The trance or mood wherein the addicts’ minds are completely engrossed in the thoughts of sex. This mental state creates an obsessive search for sexual simulation
- Sexual Ritualization: The addicts’ own special routines that lead up to the sexual behavior. The ritual intensifies the preoccupation, adding arousal and excitement.
- Compulsive sexual behavior: the actual sexual act, which is the end goal of the preoccupation and ritualization. Sexual addicts are unable to control or stop this behavior.
- Despair: the feeling of utter hopelessness addicts have about their behavior and their powerlessness process that a sexual addict progresses through. The discomfort of despair will ultimately lead the sex addict to return to his or her preoccupation with sex, thus begin this cycle all over again.
Areas of Focus
Leadem Counseling & Consulting Services offers private and confidential counseling services to individuals and families whose lives have been touched by Sexual Addiction or Sexual Anorexia. This page highlights some of the areas of counseling focus in which our clients have usually expressed interest.
• Sexual Sobriety
• Trauma Recovery
• Relapse Prevention
• How to Regain Trust
• Exploring Spirituality
• Detachment With Love
• Establishing Abstinence
• Practicing The Principles Of 12 Step Recovery In All Our Affairs
• Developing and Maintaining Intimate Friendships And Romantic Relationships
• Helping A Loved One Get Help For Their Problem
• Completion Of Specific Steps In The Recovery Process
• Improving Troubled Relationships With Our Children
• Improving Communication
• Shared Program of Recovery
• Working With At-Risk Teens
• Rising Above Co-Dependence
• Coping With Childhood Trauma
• “Facing the Shadows” Workbook
• Understanding Co-Sexual Addiction
• Parent Coaching Using The 12 Steps
• Multiple Addictions (Cross Addiction)
Our NJ sex addiction counselors will show you out of the maze for we have learned the way ourselves. To speak to one of our therapists or to make an appointment, please click the “contact us” link on the top right hand corner of this page.
Sex Addiction Treatment Options
The Leadem Counseling & Consulting Services’s commitment to the provision of a comprehensive array of services has come from the breadth of experience that we have accumulated in the treatment of addicted people and their loved ones.
It is our aim to share in the design of your therapy program in a way that puts your needs first. The following modalities are available at each of our offices:
Individual Therapy
Individual therapy is designed to provide analysis, direction, and support in a therapeutic relationship whose hallmark feature will be mutual respect and responsibility. We believe that a therapy session should be guided by the needs of the client and treatment plans are designed around the needs the client presents. The frequency of sessions and the duration of the therapy relationship are determined by the client. Our staff has an experiential orientation and a working knowledge of the 12 Steps. This combination ensures that sessions will focus on real life problems and solutions with numerous opportunities for clients to practice change outside of the therapy session.
Group Therapy
Group therapy provides a melting pot of personalities for each of the group’s members to develop skills needed to relate to a diverse population of people. As 12-Step oriented experiential therapists, our staff guides the group process through real life problems. Extensive training in Gestalt Therapy and Psychodrama, and Family Systems Dynamics combined with vast experience in the treatment of Addictive Disorders ensures that our recovering staff will bring a wide breadth and depth of skills to the treatment experience. Groups are generally designed as closed-ended which promotes optimum confidentiality and group cohesiveness since all group members will commit to weekly attendance for a predetermined period of time. Once group begins, no new members will be admitted to the group until graduation.
Family Therapy
Effective family therapy must begin with the bonding of values between therapist and family members. Therapy should never dictate the values to which the family members must subscribe. When the values between therapist and family are incompatible, therapy cannot be successful. The Leadem Counseling & Consulting Services staff practices 12-Step oriented family therapy from a model which combines theories of natural and logical consequences with the spiritual principles of recovery used by 12-Step Groups. In this approach all family members share a responsibility for the upkeep of the family and responsibility for the quality of their respective relationships with other family members. Children are not permitted to disregard their responsibility for family’s well-being simply because they are “kids.” Likewise, parents are not permitted to avoid being held accountable by their children by hiding behind the “because I am the parent and I said so” rule.
Couple’s Therapy
The development and maintenance of a rewarding romantic relationship will involve an intense commitment to the 12-Steps and a willingness to address the challenges that each member has brought to the union. LCCS staff will work to assist the members in resolving immediate conflicts while working to uncover the antecedents to the current difficulty.
Sexual Addiction Assessment
An assessment to determine if an individual is suffering with a Sexual Addiction should involve a comprehensive investigation into the individual’s sexual, emotional, and spiritual development. A comprehensive diagnostic assessment should include the following components:
- Review of past/present medical history
- Review of all previous records related to substance use treatment or education
- Review of all records related to psychiatric or other mental health treatment
- Review records or history related to involvement in the criminal justice system
- Extensive interviews with significant others in the client’s life
- In-depth review of individual’s historical use of mood-altering substances and the impact on all areas of functioning
Intervention Training
While it is true that the sexually addicted person is the master of manipulation and a brilliant escape artist, a well trained team of caring people can get through the wall of “denial” where individual efforts have failed. The following goals are appropriate expectations for an intervention:
- Help the addictive person see the truth about the consequences of his/her use of mood-altering sexual behaviors and accept help.
- Help the individual team members to develop strategies for living that serve to empower them to make changes in their lives that
- free them from the web created by addictive disorders.
Aftercare Support
Our after-care support services are intended to provide therapeutic services to sexually addicted people and their families who are completing residential treatment and require transition support to stabilize their early recovery efforts. The focus of aftercare support is primarily on bridging the gap to 12-Step Groups and developing a relapse prevention plan. Aftercare can be provided in individual, group, and family settings.
Parent/Child Therapy
In many families, recovery from addictive disorders is concentrated on the adult relationships that have been injured. It is unfortunate but often times parents believe that their children will get well as the adults recover. While it is true that the child living in addiction will enjoy a greater level of safety when his/her parent is in recovery, it is not true that children recover along with their parents. If your children have been forgotten we can help. These services focus therapeutic support on the following issues:
- Developing Insight Into the Ways In Which the Children Have Been Impacted By The Disease
- Methods for Explaining Parental Involvement In A 12-Step Program
- Methods for Rebuilding Trust
- Parenting Through the 12-Steps