We have had conversations with thousands of family members of addicts in the throes of active addiction who are able to describe the process of relapse that precedes their loved one’s return to his or her drug of choice. Some will be fearful and some will be angry. All of them are clear that something is wrong and things are about to get much worse but most will have no idea how to help.
The goal of most formal interventions is to get the addicted person separated from the drug of choice and help before circumstances get worse. We do not believe that a “rock bottom” must be reached before change can occur.
All of us, at times, find it terribly difficult to empathize with the pain of a loved one without slipping into judgement, criticism, or frustrating efforts to fix our partner. Our efforts to help are often rebuffed an we generally decide it is “not our place to say anything.”
We are always changing. We are moving forward in our recovery or we are moving backward. While it is not a problem peculiar to people recovering from an addictive illness, it seems particularly hazardous for us to settle into a recovery hover.
Living life on life’s terms means coping with discomfort without the benefit of our addictive behaviors or substances. Steps 6 and 7 offer us a way to make true personality changes that make our recovery worth the effort.
It can be difficult to sort through the memories of the past or restrain ourselves from unrealistic expectations for the future, but it is vital that we maintain perspective during the holidays.
In the early 1970’s, alcoholism was dubbed the lonely man’s disease. While it is true that addictive disorders generate a wide variety of emotional patterns, the loneliness that both addicts and co-addicts experience is a hallmark feature of the illness.
This article and others in the Risk of Relapse series are intended as an introduction to the wisdom you will
