A Daily Meditation From
One in the Spirit: Meditation Course for Recovering Couples
Accepting Oneself:
Challenge:
This week’s theme will examine the steps that are essential in developing a fulfilling life through the eyes of the recovering relationship. In the past, many of us did not feel as if we had really been living life and found ourselves looking for “real love” with little success. These pleas were most evident when we were lonely and longing for a partner to share our lives with, or were trapped in a relationship that appeared to be dying. Those of you who have struggled with romantic relationships as we have will understand that the desire to be loved by a partner can be a powerful force that can drive one blindly into a relationship that is apt to be lopsided and unfulfilling. Many dynamics in such a relationship create problems and threaten the relationship’s health. One common problem we experienced was our tendency to switch sources for our self-esteem from being acceptable to our Higher Power and ourselves to sources we thought would be acceptable to our partner.
Reflection:
Many of us have entered into relationships because of the relationship’s potential. We knew that there were problems, but we were sure that things would “work themselves out with time.” Sometimes we thought to ourselves that we had enough romantic feeling to carry the relationship, but how wrong we were! Self-acceptance and a willingness to correct the flaws in our character had been the important features of our recovery prior to the relationship. What Changed? If the relationship you are in survived active addiction, there is little doubt that each of you has suffered real injury to your self-esteem and sense of purpose in life. Avoid the trap of expecting that your personal worth can come from a romantic relationship. No relationship, no matter how healthy, can withstand that burden.
Prayer:
God, help me to avoid surrendering myself to my partnership. Help me to remember that I diminish my sense of self when I make my relationship my Higher Power.
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